Laganja, 0:53, “I am so grateful that I’m still in this competition. But in the outside world, I’m used to winning. So in this competition, it’s really hard to see all my friends get a lot of praise. Especially Adore, because I don’t think her look is as strong as mine, and it’s really starting to get to me.” -points for being bitter.
Trinity, 1:15, “Laganja is an extremely emotional person, and that’s going to play a toll on her in the competition. I think she’s just going to have to get out of her feelings, just as much as I do too.”
Bianca, 2:04, “I think it’s a huge step in the right direction for Trinity to speak her mind. I was really, really impressed with that. I think that’s really commendable, I think it’s amazing.”
Darienne, 2:30, “I think it’s better not to strut around and be like a peacock when you win. You got to make sure you’re not too in love with yourself. *side hand whisper* Ben De La Creme.”
“I got to to send her home.”
Bianca, 3:15, “So it’s a new day and we have no idea what’s to come. I’m feeling great in the competition so far, so I know something around the corner is gonna fuck me up.”
Ben, 8:51, “I can’t believe Darienne isn’t choosing me. It’s a little bit of a slap in the face not to be chosen with the rest of those girls.”
Laganja, 9:19, “This is the challenge I’ve been waiting for. I love to rap, and I’m a professional choreographer.”
Adore, 9:30, “*hand dancing to Laganja’s set moves* Why are we all doing this shit? I don’t know what the fuck that means! 90s rap is really about the feel. ‘Yeeea, motherfucker, yeeeaah!’ It’s very that. It’s not like hm huh mhm huh *boxy hands*”
“I don’t want to look like NYNC, bitch. I want to look like Salt-N-Pepa.”
Ben, 10:33, “Our main challenge is a rap battle, like we’re fly girls in the 90s.We’ve got to come up with costuming, lyrics, and choreograph a whole hip hop dance.”
Trinity,10:51, “Fuck that. You don’t tell me about enunciating, you un-enunciate. Shit. This is how I talk.” -bad editing.
“This is rap, you ain’t ‘posed to use no syllables, no vowels. It’s just all street slang.”
Adore, 11:11, “This is actually a really fun challenge for me, because I spit ill shit on the fucking daily. I’m fucking hood, I’m from Azusa. I’ll stab a bitch. *giggle*”
Darienne, 11:31, “I’m a white lady from the suburbs, so when it comes to street cred--*cringes*”
Milk, 11:39, “Just because Darienne has picked the strongest girls for her team doesn’t mean that’s she’s gonna be safe.”
Trinity, 11:48, “I’m a dancer, so now I’m gonna have to show these hos what it is that I do.”
“You hear the phrase, you know, that they have two left feet? Some of my girls ain’t got no feet.”
Darienne, 13:27, “I don’t have time to deal with this right now. When I think 90s rap girl, my first thought isn’t to go to DeLa. Suck it up buttercup.”
Darienne 13:52 “We walk in and I see the Scruff pit crew, Eve, and Trina. It’s like walking in to play chess with Bobby Fischer. Yeah you gonna shit your pants a little bit.”
Adore, 14:28, “Bianca is doing amazing. She’s fucking hilarious. She’s everything I want to be when I’m 57! Hahaha, oh she’s gonna kill me!” +funny
Adore, 15:04, “Uhohmmm *sputters*”
Laganja, 15:32, “*Sighs and facepalms about her own rap failure* Girl…”
Adore, 15:57, “For Laganja to be a rapstress, she kind of felt like a little white girl.”
Darienne, 16:16, “I feel so tense in this situation because it’s so out of my comfort zone.”
Bianca, 16:50, “Darienne’s in trouble in trouble and I’m worried because that could fuck up our whole team. She’s overthinking, and she--she’s thinking about a sandwich.”
Ben: “It’s time for the Ru-tang clan to the stage for our rap battle, and we are pumped. We are looking fly, and we are gonna give it.”
Ben, “I may not be the best rapper in the world, but...Creminem is in the hizzy fo shiz, boii!” +funny. Even if it isn’t intentionally hilarious.
Milk, 18:40, “I don’t care if this is 90s hip hop, it’s probably not, but I am just getting down and dirty.”
Joslyn, 18:48, “I just hope Eve and Trina are laughing with her and not at her.”
Milk, 19:08, “A disclaimer girl? *groans*”
Trinity, 19:34, “I cannot fuck this up, but I’m fucking it up, so…”
Milk, 20:00, “I’m feeling for Trinity because she really wants to do really well, but… I honestly had no idea what she was talking about.”
Joslyn, 20:23, “Today’s runway look is crazy, sexy, cool. When all else fails, you just have to keep it foxy, wah-wah *boob jiggle!*”
Courtney, 20:44, “*high pitched* I think Milk could pull it off...But as you can tell by the way my voice is going really high, I could be lying.”
Bianca, 21:11, “As soon as Trinity discussed her status, it all made sense to me as to why she was being such an introvert and anti-social, because I’ve been through it with someone else before.”
Bianca, 22:06, “I really do admire Trinity for being open and honest and taking care of herself the way she does. Because, if my friend had done the same, I think things would have turned out differently.”
Adore, 22:36, “Bianca’s secretly adorable in a certain way. Like, she’s the type of person where you, like, want to hug her, and she’s just like, ‘Ugh, get away,’ like it’s very that. But she loves you.”
Ben, 38:38, “Milk is high-energy. She is so weird and so wild. It’’s just totally Milk.”
Adore, 38:52, “Trinity is really serving it up with her long-ass weave. She looks shit bomb.com.org.co.uk.”
Adore: Editing shade between Laganja and Adore, foreshadowing for next week’s feud episode. Adore won the main challenge, and Laganja is already mega jealous of her success. Bianca and Adore had a cute moment, and she and Ben hugged. She also was funny when she was reading Laganja’s dance moves.
Shade to: Bianca, “So do your tits!”; Trinity, “I believe your smile belongs on season four. ‘Cause every day is shark week with your grill!” Laganja, “Next time you death-drop, reverse that and drop dead!” Shade to Laganja 3x.
Ben: Foreshadowing to a feud between her and Darienne, because Darienne didn’t pick her, and Darienne is being pretty shady and saying Ben is full of herself. Ben was a delightful white girl who was obviously paler than cream. I loved it. She was safe. There was also a moment when the girls were putting on their makeup and she asked Darienne why she didn’t pick her. Darienne said it was none of her business.
Shade to: Joslyn, “You have some really comforting old-fashioned qualities to your drag, like how you paint in sepia tones and your voice sounds like a dialup modem.” Darienne, “Your jokes are like UFOs, I mean, they are way out there and I’ve never seen one land.”
Bianca: Was super sweet to Trinity! Had a quick friendly shade volley with Adore. Was funny in her rap, and she read Darienne a little bit.
Shade to: Adore, ‘At least Beyonce’s dresses hit the floor!’ Ben, “After seeing you in drag, I realize now why Seattle has a high suicide rate.” Joslyn, “She’s so gay even her asshole has a lisp.” Adore again, “I know what you got on your SATs. Ketchup.” Darienne: “I don’t know, she’s thinking about a sandwich.”
Courtney: was in this episode? Her rap was fine, and she was told to stop relying on pretty because she came out in stand-up blanket and pillow outfit that she dropped to reveal boring purple panties and a bra.
Shade to: Ben, “The cream always rises to the top, but then again, so does the scum.” Joslyn, “Miss Joslyn Fox, when we need a low-rent version of Courtney Act, we’ll let you know.”
Darienne: Shade storm with Ben is brewing. She also was horrible in the main challenge and I wish she lip synced against Trinity instead of Milk. Since Gia is gone, the show needed a new villain, and Darienne is now it. I expect lots of angry comments in Ben’s defense against her soon.
Shade to: Milk, “Your beauty and fashion are listed right on the side of your carton--under ‘Missing!’” Ben, “You remind me of a russian doll...full...of...yourself.” Adore: “Aaaadoooore Dellllaaaanoooo. Iiiii’m gooooiiing toooo saaaayy thiiiss veerrrryyy sloooowlyy soo yooou cannn unnddderrstaaaannd. You’re dumb!”
Joslyn: Made the top three! She was funny and cute as always, nothing new.
Shade to: Adore, “You know you’re from the west coast when it’s a 3 hour delay before you finally get a joke.” Darienne: “This is the girl who probably sits reverse cowgirl on the toilet just so she has a flat service to eat off of.”
Langanja: Jealous and insecure! Besides rapping like a little suburban girl obsessed with weed, she was fine. Hardly here. Read the fuck out of Adore though.
Shade to: Herself, her reads are horrible. Adore: “A-bore De-lame-o, is that a hog on your body or are you just excited to see me?” Bianca: “Bianca Del Taco Trio, your style is as old and bitter as you. You’ve even got the crypt keeper crying boohoohoo!”
Milk: had more screen time. She was her delightful wacky self, and she went home undeservedly. I guess it’s because she has no problems with the other girls now that Gia is gone.
Shade to: Joslyn, “You may not be the all that smart, and you may not be all that pretty--I guess that’s it.” Darienne, “The way you abuse those kitten heels on the runway is absolutely criminal!”
Trinity: more excuses. I still think Trinity is awesome, but she had given up before she began. Bianca was super sweet with her. Oh, and in confessionals she called Laganja out on her problem.
Shade: Soft-spoken shade to Darienne, shade to herself over her hair.
Mini challenge was to ‘read’ or insult the other girls. Darienne won.
Main challenge was to perform in a 90s hip hop song. Adore won!
Trinity 1:06: “It’s been a really bumpy road but I feel accomplished. I’m still here.”
Darienne, 1:16. “When it comes to Milk and her um, fashion, I don’t get it. Like, we’re playing major league baseball, and she’s playing checkers. We’re not in the same game here.” Possible bully confessional? Seems like they’re setting Darienne up to be bitter.
Darienne, 1:40: “Milk safe? Seriously? I was giving you Adele going to the Tony’s. I was not giving you Phyllis Diller going to the delivery room.” +shade
Bianca 2:37, “Bitch it was a fucking joke. Take all that weepy bullshit, take all that attention that you need, and apply it to the competition. Or get the fuck out.”
Milk, 3:19, “So it’s a new day in the workroom and we have no idea what to expect next.” -I feel like Milk is always going to be narrating the blandly obvious things. All the girls are probably recorded saying what they do that day, but cmon. Milk has hardly any drama plotline besides being the confident genderfuck queen.
Bianca, 3:28, “Of course, Miss Attention Whore, weeping willow, is wearing a macrame potholder on her goddamn head. ‘Cause she needs more attention.”
Laganja, 3:58, “Miss Bianca, old and wise, and yet so full of shit.”
Adore, 4:54, “I am so fucking excited. This is the reason why I came into this competition is to snatch snatch game and snatch the title.”
Ben, 5:14, “Snatch game is a really important challenge. It’s one that everybody knows is coming. And everybody is kind of waiting all season to see what you pull out. But I don’t do impersonations. That’s not ever a part of my deal.”
Bianca, 5:28, “This challenge is the one that’s gonna separate the talented from the… other ones?”
Laganja, 5:53, “I think the key to a good impersonation is not only looking like the character but speaking in their voice. I’m not worried.”
Bianca 6:04, “The reason why I’m choosing Judge Judy is because she’s smart, she’s sensible, and she’s a fucking bitch.”
Bianca, 6:18, “So I had no idea that Judge Judy is Rupaul’s favorite TV show. Uheh--pressure?”
Courtney, 6:30, “Bianca is a little bit stressed. I haven’t seen her at all sweat in the competition and it’s interesting seeing her kind of wriggle a bit.”
Adore, 7:32, “I would really be letting Dannielynn down if I did not win this challenge.”
Ben, 8:36, “Ru does not seem into my idea. I’m shaken. My confidence is definitely shaken but I, uh… *sighs*” +crying in confessional (sadly!) +underdog
Laganja, 9:05, “Today’s challenge is the snatch game, where you impersonate one of your favorite celebrities.”
Bianca, 10:51, “Fuck.” +underdog
Adore, 11:46, “Girl, Selena? What are you going to do with that? ‘I love pizza. I got shot by Yolanda.’ Like, what I-what’s funny? Like--it’s the truth, gur.”
Gia, 12:23, “I have the Selena costume ready on my mannequin, but I’m now processing Ru’s comments and kind of now thinking maybe this isn’t the best choice.”
Bianca, 12:45, “So Gia’s putting on makeup and doesn’t know who the fuck she’s going to be. How that work?”
Milk, 16:29, “Oh shit. It’s the Snatch Game. AHHH!”
Trinity, 18:29, “Is that really how Rachel Zoe talks? No? Hmm... That’s unfortunate.”
Bianca, 19:53, “Milk ain’t no Meryl Streep.”
Bianca, 20:39, “Wig changes. How original. Chad Micheals, how many years ago?”
Joslyn, 21:39, “I know I can do a better Fran Drescher than Courtney. *imitating Fran* Oh Mistah Sheffield! *dead on nasally laugh*”
Courtney, 23:15, “Tonight’s runway theme is ‘Night of a Thousand Rus’ We have to dress up as Rupaul, which is exciting. But Rupaul’s going to be in the room, so--”
Ben, 24:05, “My mom, she’s been sort of the big proponent of me being myself and that I was beautiful. And then, when I was 13, my mom died. I just…*chuckles* That really put me in a tailspin. I didn’t have that voice saying that who I was was okay anymore. I just had a lot of voices at school saying that everything about me was wrong. Too fat, too gay, too weird.”
Ben, 24:42, “I haven’t forgotten anything that’s happened to me in those years, but I have learned to use the hardship to get stronger.”
Adore, 25:07, “I’m really grateful for Bianca’s motherly kind of instinct. She’s kind of my step mom right now. *laughs* I’m a foster child right now!”
Ben, 36:46, “I’m the first one to win two challenges. And this is the challenge that I was most terrified about and I won it!” -Side note, editing looks rough, like they spliced footage from another confessional with Ben’s second win confessional. Yes. I can tell by the sitting position (jump shots?) Ben was in was changing, and winning Ben had red eyes from previously crying from talking about her mother’s death while the Ben talking about the ‘most terrified challenge’ does not.
Gia, 37:37, “This is some bullshit. Milk belongs in the bottom.” +underdog for Milk, or shade, whatever. Setting Milk up to go home in an upcoming episode!
Laganja, 38:14, “I can’t believe I’m in the bottom two. And I’m up against one of my best friends in this competition. And that really sucks.”
Laganja, 38:46, “Girl I am giving this everything I got. Toe-touch into the splits, death drops right off the bat. I don’t want to go home.” -Just voice
Gia, 38:53, “I’m showing the judges that I love to perform. I love to vogue and I’m giving face, and that’s usually what counts.” -No talking head, just voice.
Bianca, 39:16, “Rule number one: you’re gonna a reveal, get out of the dress! We all know “reveal” in French means ‘Take the shit off!’” +funny
Courtney, 39:36. “ I can see the difference in their styles. Gia is more controlled, Laganja is giving everything. The jump split is impressive.”
Adore: Bianca helped her out and lent her a waist cincher! Adore did Anna Nicole Smith during Snatch Game and she was given a ‘I have to prove this! I have to win!’ edit. I love her Anna Nicole. For more on the drama side, in Untucked, Laganja cried again and got into it with Adore and Bianca, Adore had NO idea why she was upset and frankly nobody did either, including Laganja who couldn’t even explain why she felt so strongly. Also, the girls, while putting on makeup and getting ready in the workroom, brought up body image when Adore joked that she has a ‘hog body’ which is why she gets read for her waist, thus leads to...
Ben: Talking about how she used to be fat and bullied during school and how her mother, her biggest supporter, died when she was 13 and that made things really hard because she didn’t have someone telling her that she’s beautiful and what she is/was is okay. Which was touching, and I always want to give Ben a hug, but I want to hug her then because it was bittersweet. Beyond that, she also had no damn idea why Laganja was so emotional (in the workroom being all over the top with her macrame potholder and in Untucked when she cried again over probably being in the bottom 2 then said that Adore said something that upset her). Ben gives the greatest reaction faces about all of the bitch fights because she never is involved in one. Also, she won as Dame Maggie Smith! Kept me giggling the entire time! Great performance, I was so worried because in the workroom and in confessionals editing set her up to be awkward and confused. Which sucked!
Bianca: Helped Ben out with her Maggie Smith makeup, and gave Adore her spare cincher! +4 sister points! Because that was so cute and nice. She also got into it with Laganja because Laganja is butthurt the others are outdoing her. Bianca also was nervous because Judge Judy is Ru’s favorite, but I don’t see why she would be nervous. Bianca is hilarious and so is Judge Judy so it was a perfect character. Also she was sweet and she told everyone to clap for Trinity’s lip sync.
Courtney: Played Fran Drescher and threw friendly shade at Bianca.
Darienne: Yup, her hubris is showing. Doesn’t understand Milk’s drag, and in the preview for next episode, she completely disses Ben. Do people say disses? She left her out. There. But that’s for next episode. Her Paula Deen was funny and kinda cute, but I would’ve loved an over the top maybe racist Paula Deen portrayal that was tasteful as well as buttery. She wasn’t important this episode.
Gia: WENT HOME! Okay fine. She picked boring Snatch Game characters, had no idea how to make either funny, decided on Kim K, and had no idea what the hell to call morning sickness that should probably stop after a woman gives birth. She was stupid, but besides fucking up and being worried, she wasn’t important. Ben was!
Joslyn: Is too cute! I love her Fran Drescher and this shady little bitch told Bianca that Judge Judy is Ru’s favorite which put pressure on her. But she’s so sweet.
Laganja: FOUR ENTIRE UNTUCKEDS OF HER CRYING. FOUR. She’s so emotional and shaken and insecure in untuckeds but she’s so cocky and hyper and all over the place, YASS MAWMA, in the werkroom but...nonexistent in performances, except when she dances. She cried to Adore earlier about how Bianca making a joke ‘stole her moment’ or something. Blegh. Also she is threatened because her friends are doing better than she is, which is why she retreats into herself when it actually matters, and when I’d love for her to be quiet or sweet or tastefully funny (like Ben, Joslyn, Bianca, Courtney, Trinity now that she’s relaxed a bit...yes, like my favorites) she’s so annoying. But we knew that. Also got into with Bianca! Also her Rachel Zoe was robotic.
Milk: Played a shaky sausage obsessed Julia Child and came out in male drag. She REALLY wasn’t important this episode, she’s lucky she did her genderfuck (which is pretty safe at this point and boring) otherwise she wouldn’t have had drama.Thank you Darienne and Gia for being ignorant so Milk gets a mention!
Trinity: Revealed she has HIV and she would like to be an advocate for those with it in Untucked, but that wasn’t in this main episode. Beyond that, she was just quiet and focused. Her Nicki Minaj wasn’t spectacular.
Adore: Read Gia’s life choices about picking Selena.
Ben:Read Trinity in Snatch Game because English comes from England.
Bianca: read Laganja SO many times (about 4 times?), Gia twice during Snatch game. Read Ru!
Courtney: Joked with Laganja and fake-scared Bianca
Darienne: read and wondered why Milk is still here. Because Milk isn’t bitter, that’s why. Said that Milk was playing a different game because this is major league baseball. Ahh, hubris.
Gia: threw shade towards herself and it was sadly hilarious because she was so stupidly unsure about her character. And she called everyone dudes when she left, that bitter bitch!
Joslyn: threw friendly shade at Courtney and Bianca
Langanja: implied Bianca has no style, also said that she was full of shit.
Milk: did nothing. Trolled the judges by coming out as a guy, though.
Trinity: This wasn’t shade but I got SUCH joy from it, when Trinity was learning that Rachel Zoe doesn’t actually speak so clipped and robotically, Trinity said ‘Oh.. that’s unfortunate.’ My favorite shade. But she also said that Ben’s Maggie Smith wasn’t speaking proper English.
Adore +15 for her cinched waist! But it was more Anna than Ru.
Ben +15 Most Rupaul looking and she’s so pretty!
Bianca +15 Safe and tasteful, but not so Ru. Still beautiful.
Courtney +15 GORGEOUS! I want a poster of Courtney like this because it was pure model with the wings and the whooshes and she does silver wings better than Darienne in episode 3.
Gia -10 Usually Gia is great on the runway, but her wig and her eyelash...
Langanja +15 All for her big Lady Bunny hair! Wasn’t super Ru, but c’mon it’s cute!
Milk +0 She did Ru as a guy. And everyone gagged. Staying neutral with this.
Trinity +15 Always gorgeous! Love her in a feather!
No mini challenge! The audience wins for more time for other dramas!
Main challenge: Impersonate a female celebrity in a Match Game styled game show called ‘Snatch Game’ Ben de la Creme won! Also, since Ben is the first to win 2 challenges, and I can't care about how my favoritism is unfair, she gets an added 'first' bonus! +25 +30 Mmm...that's unfair. I'll give her the +30, 5 point bonus.
Hashtag: Don’t think there was one? Maybe #snatchgame.
Quick note before we begin, I did not realize scoring isn't just one big thing you add on to every week for a grand total, but they have individual scores for each episode. So that will be wacky for a bit while I clear things, but I really don't think anyone cares. Nobody should, anyway.
Gia: 0:57 “Vivacious just got eliminated and I’m fucking glad to get another bitch out of here, because honey we need to start knocking them one by one.
April: 1:15 “I’m determined to show Ru that I am worthy of being here. These bitches better get ready because I’ve just gotten a wake up call.”
Bianca, 1:34, “When I first met Gia I didn’t like her, but now she’s grown on me. Like a rash. Being fish is not going to win this competition. She’s fish, but she’s gonna be floating on top...dead.”
Gia, 2:26, “It’s a brand new day in the workroom and everybody’s feeling our oats, grains, wheats, thins, everything. We’re all ready for the twisted and sick little challenges that Ru has in store for us.
Courtney, 5:50, “I love musical theater! It’s just so campy and cheesy and me!”
Trinity, 6:42, “Yay I got picked last again. No biggie. It is what it is.”
Ben, 7:12, “My goal as a leader is to figure out how to utilize everyone in the group best.”
Ben, 7:12, “Courtney is the obvious Penny. That’s just what’s gonna happen.”
Bianca, 7:44. “Trinity, she always seems over it. Nothing excited her.” Points against Trinity, for the editing.
Courtney, 8:06 “It’s a bit of pressure because, Adore is a singer as well.”
Ben, 8:22, “Shade the Rusical has now become the battle of the Idols.”
Courtney 8:31, “I’m gonna take her down.” Winner connotations.
Laganja, 9:03, “Our challenge is to perform in the world premiere of Shade: The Rusical. We have to act, sing, dance, and do it all live, mama.”
Adore, 9:23, “Bad Penny is clearly me. Courtney is Good Penny. She’s very Disney and I’m very Courtney Love.”
April, 9:42, “I am happy because I didn’t get the butch card so thank God that, ay dios mio, yeah.”
Milk, 9:57, “Gia, her voice is like nails on a chalkboard.”
Darienne, 10:03, “Gia’s voice is kind of like if Fran Drescher got steamrolled by, like, a dying duck. Eeeeehhh! *cat yowl*”
Trinity, 13:13, “I’m a drag queen. I lip sync. I don’t sing live.”
Adore, 11:46, “Because I really really really want the judges to see that I’m not a filler bitch.
Courtney, 12:37, “I have done some musical theater in my past, so piece of cake.”
Courtney, 13:19, “I think I’m going to be held to a higher standard here and when you’re live on stage, you’ve got one chance. Don’t fuck it up.”
Gia, 13:57, “FUCK!”
Bianca, 14:26, “Trinity is getting a little rude. It ain’t Denise’s fault that Trinity can’t get the moves. Calm down, Beyonce.”
Bianca, 14:51, “We’re going down. And not in the good way.”
Milk, 15:21. “This week’s challenge is to perform in Shade: The Rusical.”
Adore, 15:43, “It’s really intimidating to have the person who actually wrote this to be in front of you while you’re butchering the lyrics. This is the chance basically for me to prove myself. I’ve got to get it together.”
Joslyn, 16:15, “I like to think that I’ve got a rather distinctive voice. I’ve embraced it.”
April,16:36, “Ay dios mio.” “I need to prove that I can pull this for me and my team so I can’t be a downward Debbie, I don’t know what her name is.”
Adore, 17:07, “This is a huge challenge. Like one person’s off, we all fall like dominoes.”
Gia, 17:13, “Trinity is definitely not 100% here. Is she frustrated sexually, I have no idea, but guess what? We have about this much time to do about this much work to do so, bitch, get into it!”
Bianca, 18:18, “Today on the mainstage, our runway look is Tony Award’s glamour, and we’re performing in Shade the Rusical. We’ve got to sing, lots. Although, you’ve seen some of the people in my group.” 18:36, just Bianca giving mad reaction face.
Adore, 19:26, “My mom told me to butch it up because they didn’t want them making fun of me. She should’ve just let me go out there with pink hair. That would’ve been cool.”
Gia, 20:19, “In my culture it’s not a gay thing. So even straight men do it. It’s an art.” “With my theater background in kabuki, I definitely have a sense of stage prescence and the choreography, but at the same time, I’m really hoping for the best. Because some of us ain’t singers, we dancers.”
April, 38:39, “I am serving. I am owning that song. Oh, gospel. Oh church. I’mma bring Jesus, I’mma bring all the saints.”
Trinity, 38:48, “I’m giving you a little piece of Trinity. I’m channeling my inner chaka. I’m givin’ it all I got.”
Courtney, 38:59, “Trinity is lip syncing the house down, boots. I don’t know what that means, but she’s doing it!”
Gia, 39:10, “April is hungry for this.”
Shade: Bianca to Detox, Trinity, Gia, Langaja?
Joslyn to Bianca
Editing to Trinity
Courtney to Adore, some wrestler girl
Adore to Courtney
Adore: +10 Idol drama became a main theme! She and Courtney were rivals vying for the top spot of the “Rusical”. Other key points was that during her Idol time, Adore was told to butch it up and keep in the closet because her mom and producers were worried people wouldn’t take to her being gay and flamboyant. Also there was the drama about screwing up in front of Lucian Piane, the guy who wrote the music and who teaches the girls how to dance and sing and...he’s whatever.
April: Was given the edit girls who try really hard but sadly can’t play big enough get. I shall miss her. She’s super sweet.
Ben: Was a great leader. No surprises. I like how maturely she handled her job and she came off very professionally. However, she is still played small in the show, despite being in the top 3 for all of the episodes she has been in.
Bianca: Got into it with Trinity as Bianca is older with more experience in...pratically everything. Said a lot of shade, but she is a insult comic. I mostly see the editing of the show putting her up as the reckoning that calls out the girls who have ‘bad attitudes’ like Laganja, Gia, even Trinity (I just believe she was frustrated) and the show uses that to make the ageist experience vs. youth drama. Still funny but I believe a breather is in order. Also I still missed a LOT of Bianca's shade.
Courtney: +10 Idol drama was brought up! We also learned that Shane (Courtney out of drag, her real boy self) was rejected from Australian Idol, but when she came back as Courtney in drag, she was accepted and was the first Idol (ever) to go out on the show in drag and be openly gay. It’s interesting, comparing that with Adore’s closeted Idol experience. Courtney got to be out with herself and she originally tried it as a guy, but they accepted her more as a girl.
Darienne: Threw shade at Gia’s voice. Also Darienne expected to be in the top which...could be used later on to show hubris or something.
Gia: Was stupid and had no idea what a Tony award is or that the beans joke she was supposed to react to in the play was a fart joke. She wasn’t a big influence on the episode as far as drama goes (there’s still a part of every episode where someone has to explain something to her) but it was refreshing to learn that she does traditional Japanese kabuki theater. I liked listening about that.
Joslyn: Wasn’t a huge influence on the episode. However, her teasing friendly shade towards Bianca was hilarious. I love Joslyn, she kept being stupidly cute this episode. And she told Gia she was ignorant towards different types of drag. So I love Joslyn.
Laganja: Again, wasn’t a huge episode influence. On Untucked she is (majorly) but in the episode, she wasn’t. She served as an episode narrator like Ben, Joslyn, Milk, Gia, and Darienne. I know I said I won’t award drama points because of Untucked but I really feel as if I should, because Laganja always cries in Untuckeds. About her family. And she got a family message. And her family message will be used in the next episode as to why she was hurt Bianca made a joke after the tearful family message. So she’s gonna get some drama plot, but not for this episode.
MILK: Only had Untucked drama when Gia got after her for ‘not serving Tony awards’ or whatever. Milk was pretending to be pregnant and she really truly wasn’t giving red carpet realness, with her knee length dress and her pregnancy belly and those...shoes, and Gia wasn’t understanding a damn thing. Oh! Joslyn is gonna get some sister points because she shut Gia DOWN. Sweetly, too! But yeah, Milk wasn’t important. She isn’t shocking anyone anymore, but she isn’t necessarily bad. I still like her personality, but her drag is hard to digest, so that was a theme.
Trinity: Was edited poorly, and I know that Trinity had a stanky attitude, but I really just...see that as her own frustration. She’s trying, people are stupid as shit when they’re frustrated. She’s gorgeous, and everyone gave her a lot of drama and I don’t really see her...going out of her way to be mean. She was confused when she said Bianca and possibly Courtney too were doing their dancing wrong. So there was a LOT OF LOT OF LOT OF DRAMA. Also she was confused during rehearsals and her flipper (false teeth that she wears) on the mainstage caused her diction to be slurry. I feel really bad for her, and I know I REALLY shouldn’t be injecting my feelings into a league like this but I like her a lot. I hope she goes far in life.
Ben and Adore won the mini challenge where the queens guessed if the close-up shown was from a biological woman or from a drag queen. +5 each
Courtney won the main musical theater challenge as Good Penny. +25
April vs Trinity, with Trinity winning and April sashaying. 10 points for Trinity for slaying and staying. 1 point for April for leaving after her second lip sync in a row.
Hashtag: There was none, maybe next episode.
Episode 3, Scream Queens
Bianca, 0:55, “Oh, fuck.”
Milk, 1:01, “I walk into the workroom and, oh, my god. It’s the other girls!”
Gia, 1:12, “Excuse me??”
Courtney, 1:17, “We’re all just kind of, like, sniffing around each other.”
Trinity, 1:22, “My first impression of BenDeLaCreme was she kind of looks like the Hamburglar’s wife.”
Bianca, 1:37, “Laganja: irritating, young, foolish.”
Gia, 1:44, “Darienne--you know, my goddd, there’s room for everybody!”
Adore,3:14 Imitating Courtney, “‘What season were you on? Were you on season one?’ And I was like, oh, we’re playing THAT this year, bitch?”
Vivacious, 2:28, “Hunty! The stage has already been set. Both cliques are tight within themselves, that bonding is DONE. It’s gonna be GIRRRRLS HOW YOU DOING?”
Gia, 3:25, “Walking into the workroom , I’m not feeling some of the other queens. I don’t like messy queens, I don’t like cheap queens, and I don’t like manly queens.”
Milk, 8:00, “Of course I chose my group! They’re the bee’s knees.That first group has some pretty bitches, but I don’t like em.”
Adore, 8:31, “I’m a huge fan of ‘80s horror movies so as soon as I found out it was the 80s version I was freaking out.”
Adore, 8:47, “At this point, we have limited time so I just gotta hand this shit out like candy from a peenyaatta. Catch it bitch, you’re getting the role.”
Vivacious, 9:11, “There is nothing manly on April. So she’s got some stretching to do.”
Gia, 9:32, “I’ve NEVER head of a DeLorean. For all I know it’s a fucknig ancient dildo.”
Laganja, 9:48, “I’m a little worried because I don’t know that some of my teammates can do their roles. Adore could’ve done better, but sink or swim, she is the leader.”
Joslyn, 10:19, “Our team gets Drag Race me to Hell, the original, set in the ‘60s. I’m excited because the original is always better than the sequel. “
Darienne, 10:42, “Nobody wants this ‘head in a box’ role. It’s a smaller role, and it’s just a head in a box, but I can do something with it.”
Trinity, 11:09, “I realized my character has the most lines, and now I’m pissed...because I got to learn a lot of shit because I am not an actor.”
Trinity, 11:32, “The black girl is playing ghetto, how original.”
Bianca, 11:33. “Trinity said she would like to learn from everyone and she doesn’t consider herself a professional actress. But she’s like, very, very defensive. She never wants to hear it.”
Trinity, 12:27, “Bianca and Courtney be flying through their lines like they’ve been doing movies for years. *defeated* Bitches.”
Bianca, 12:50, “Joslyn is selling it--much funnier than I expected. ‘Gasp!’”
Trinity, 13:32, “For Rupaul to get out of his seat to have to show somebody where a camera is, and it really threw me off.”
Darienne, 14:10, “I may actually pass out in this box if Trinity continues to fuck up. I may actually punch her in her box if she doesn’t stop fucking up.”
Adore, 14:24, “I’m not worried about this challenge because I got this shit strateg--strategically...whatever.. I have it strategically strategized! This is gonna go good! I’m a good leader. I’m a libra!”
April, 15:09, “Playing a butch character for a drag queen is a mindfuck.,really. I’m a gay boy being a woman, but I need to be boyish as well. Ay dios mio.”
Vivacious, 16:34, “Liza Minnelli lies.”
April, 16:39, “I could not go out on the stage without knowing my lines. That’s just uncalled for. Adore is the team captain and I feel so worried for our team because she’s not professional.”
Adore: 17:15, “So basically I’m fucked because I’m the team leader, and everything comes on my back!”
Laganja, 17:43, “Today’s runway is our best drag! Mama is living, okay?”
Vivacious, 17:56, “I grew up around the real club kids, people like Amanda Lepore, Lady Bunny, Lavina…” “The newer generation only know off the fishy look, when I walk into a club, all eyes are on me. You’re still the little girl in the corner still trying to look like a lady.”
Bianca, 18:59, “Really bitch? Beyonce is a hard one to do. You can dance it. You can lip-synch it, but if you don’t really look like her, mm. And let’s face it. Trinity looks like Sammy Davis Jr. in a Beyonce wig.”
Gia, 29:54, “Something tells me our team is probably on the lower end of the scale. I thought that it was funny that the other team was in black and white and ours was in color. [Producer asks her if she thought maybe it was in black and white because Milk’s team’s movie was set in the ‘60s.] No…”
Milk, 38:52. “Vivacious is working me out. Her style of drag is something I adore.”
Joslyn, 39:15, “April looks like Selena Gomez is right there on that stage. Vivacious is not missing a beat. At this point it is too close to call!”
Adore: cried on stage. +5 Okay! Adore was a team captain this week and there was a LOT of emphasis that she lacked discipline, forgot her cues in the acting challenge, played a bitchin’ 80s girl despite all this. Also, she gave April the butch lesbian role...to be funny I think? World may never know. Anyway! She and Courtney are cooking some drama together that will probably (definitely, next is a musical theatre challenge) be all hot and ready for next episode. Adore did Courtney’s accent, and so far I like how Adore is giving me Lumpy Space Princess from Adventure Time confessional realness. And she got to sit on Milk! Total: +16
April: cried on stage. +5 As seen above, Adore gave the super feminine and pretty April the butch lesbian role. And April served boy, not...really butch. Poor sweet thing. But she lip synced to safety, and I like how hard she was trying, despite the role not really working with her. Plus she had one of the best outfit/faces/cheeks. That’s counting for something. Total: +14
Ben: Where was she this episode? Yes, yes, I know. I’m a huge BenDeLaCreme fan, so I was a bit disappointed she had minimal screen time despite telling Gia that a DeLorean is an 80s car from Back to the Future, not an ancient dildo. But! Her scary godmother was amazing, and...did she paint those wrinkles herself? She’s 31, and she made herself look 65. I don’t like how underused Ben is, hopefully she’ll get more of a story soon because this good is so good! Giving her extra just because of favoritism, and her hug with Darienne is adorable. +6
Bianca: I’m telling you right now, I am NOT keeping up with all of Bianca’s shade because the girl is a forest. +25 (rough guess) She read Laganja, she read Gia, she read Trinity (which was mean because she kinda stomped on Trinity’s Beyonce dream , so if I missed any of Bianca’s shade, just think that I took it from that). She is not here for the 20-somethings to make friends. She’s here to win and we better all know it. +5 for bitch fighting with Gia...and then later Adore in Untucked (remember I don’t track those) and she did give Trinity advice to just get sassy with her role. Total: +32
Courtney: Royalty. She wasn’t really used this episode, like Ben, but she got her confessional though. Played a mean Mrs. Hitchcock, she and Bianca are stellar actresses. Got into it with Adore over Idols a little bit. So points for asking Adore what season she was on, like it matters! Also called Gia out on her shit shade. Loved that. +12
Darienne: Challenge winner! She took that box role that nobody wanted and damn did she do it. Also she and Ben made the most hilarious Frankenqueen in the mini challenge. +6
Gia: I love to hate her so much. She had her shade in,getting into it with Bianca, calling Darienne fat, and Courtney a man (of all people, and then she did her whole deal about how she didn’t like the other team. Dumb as rocks too, thinking a DeLorean was a dildo and missing that the 60s barely had techicolor yet. Dumb bitch. I really want to give her points for being so damn stupid but -10 (really she threw a LOT of shade, but, again, she was mentioned a lot as well.) Also she forgot her lines!
Joslyn: Gasp! Girl can act! Points for being adorable, again, Ms. Joslyn. +4
Laganja: Also not used this episode, like Joslyn, Courtney, Ben...hmm… Oh well! Bianca called her irritating, young, foolish. And she kinda was, but I think there’s more to her than just her overly annoying catch phrases. Hardly any drama beyond that. Oh! She again implied Adore wasn’t being very professional. As did I, Lady Laganja. +4
Milk: Oooh her humor. Kinda underused? She was team captain as well with Adore. Did a decent job. I love her personality. And her legs, those are everything. +4
Trinity: cried on stage. +5 And Trinity (being an acting virgin) had to face her challenges with her acting and the camera face-forward. She was really civil about Bianca steamrolling over her Beyonce dreams! Not a fabulous actress, but I like how cool her personality is. +15
Vivacious: I am not going to read her. She is a talented, original NYC club kid, and she does her walk and her dancing ON POINT. Her outfits and her acting...not so much. She’s very GIFable though! +6
Adore I’m taking Adore’s to state that I’m not detracting any points from the runways, so because so many people were on point, there’s a grading curve. So her look is cute, if I saw it in real life I’d compliment her, but there’s so much more here to award points to. +0
April Amazing! Her umbrella April Showers look was EVERYTHING +15
BenDeLaCreme: I’m definitely giving her points, because I love her, and I love her runways, and I love the bow on her butt. Campy cute, but I KNOW she has better runways. +15
Bianca Wicked bitch realness. I love it. +15
Courtney Australian Barbie!! +15
Darienne Redemption for sure! I like all her moves with the cape.+15
Gia Eh. There was better, there was worse. She also didn’t get that Power Rangers ARE ninjas when she was talking about her outfit. I love her hair though! +0
Joslyn Gorgeous Grecian girl. Better than her runway last episode for sure! +15
Laganja Oh my goodness that makeup, and the butterflies and how she styled everything! I love love love it, and I finally get to gush over something of hers! I just really love it neck-up. +15
Milk Pinnachio real girl-boy realness! I love the marionnette strings and how conceptual it was. However, wearing her entrance tights so soon? She’s lucky I love her long legs. +15
Trinity GORGEOUS! Oh I wanna eat this up, she looks like Miss Universe! +15
Vivacious: She’s a sea urchin! I don’t like it, but I understand and appreciate it. +0
Adore and Milk won the mini challenge which was the queens pairing up with a queen from the opposite team to create a fierce lip syncing beach queen with one queen as the face, and another as the legs. Comedy ensued with bitty Ben’s torso with Darienne’s big diva legs.
Darienne won the main challenge, which was the queens acting in teams for B list horror movies. Darienne gave a head-spinning portrayal of a bitchy teenage head-in-a-furry-pink-box
April vs Vivacious with April winning and Vivacious getting an extra point for lip syncing twice in a row then losing! I’ll miss Mutha, she’s something fierce.
And we're back! Note that if we need to save space, this will be combined with "Episode 1" for a complete premiere gamelog, but for now, it isn't a problem. On with the spoilers!
Courtney, 6:16, “I guess my reputation could intimidate the other queens. I’m most famous for being a finalist on the first season of Australian Idol.”
Magnolia, 6:31, “Courtney looks like a girl. Very pretty. But that doesn’t impress me. It’s not drag!”
Darienne Lake, 6:48, intro “I’m Darienne Lake. I’m 24 years old, and I’m a compulsive liar. I was picked fan favorite on the online Facebook contest. Some of the queens are pretty. I’m prettier. Some of them are funny; I’m funnier. And some of them are big, but I’m bigger.
Trinity, 7:33, “What?” Shouldn’t there be more chicks?”
Bianca, 8:52, “Classic Ru, full of a lot of surprises. Bitches a sweating!”
10:23 “It’s difficult for someone like me to be “sexy”. Have you seen me? I’m clown realness.”
Trinity, 10:51, “I love to doing photo shoots in drag. I’m a supermodel.
Joslyn, 11:11, “Feathers are flying everywhere.Pillows are coming in my face. This is pure chaos.”
Trinity, 11:27, “I’m noticing that Joslyn’s skirt continue to rise all day. I’m gonna need her to put some panties on or some boy shorts or something.”
Courtney, 11:50, “Courtney knows how to do sexy, she’s a natural.”
13:19 “Everyone’s de-dragging and it’s kind of fun to see the man behind the curtain. I’m just surprirsed to see that Bianca Del Rio is a real human being underneath all of that clown makeup.”
Milk, 13:35, “As a boy, Courtney Act is the cutest.She is tan with that beach- blonde hair.”
Courtney, 13:42, “I normally don’t do dairy, but for Milk I’ll make an exception.”
Trinity,14:20, “I won my first photo shoot challenge!”
Bianca, 16:09, “This is the first challenge and I want to [bleep] win. I got bills to pay. I got dogs to put through college.”
Darienne, 16:49, “We have to put together a high fashion outfit based on what we have in our party box.
Joslyn, 17:02, “There’s every color you could ever think of. I love everything in my box.”
Magnolia, 17:30, “I got a bunch of shit! It has nothing to do with my style.”
Courtney, 17:37, “It’s the first challenge! Good god, girl, get a grip.”
Darienne, 18:31, “DEAD.”
Milk, 22:15, “I really want my first impression to be really unique, something very Milk. I’m still doing pants”
Trinity, 22:40, “*gasps and squeals* My idol, Khloe Kardashian. I’m in heaven!”
Jostlyn, 23:16, “This morning we’re back in the workroom finishing up our looks for our very first runway.”
Trinity, 23:22, “One of us is going home, and we done already unpacked our shit. Ain’t nobody trying to pack it back up.”
Bianca, 23:45 “A beard, really queenie?”
Milk, 23:42, “Of course I’m getting looks for throwing on a beard.I don’t care what they think about my look. Screw em!”
Magnolia, 24:09, “Joslyn’s outfit is a little busy. Actually, it’s REALLY busy.”
Joslyn, 24:37, “In this challenge I may be underestimated by the other queens. But I plan on being the black horse of this competition,” Producer: ‘Do you mean dark horse?’ “Oh it is dark horse, isn’t it? I’ve always said black horse.”
Courtney, 24:58, “I was a finalist on the first season of Australian Idol. I got signed to Sony BMG., I toured around the country, and I’ve gone on to have a really great and wonderful career in Australia.
Darienne, 25:18, “I’m not nervous at all against going against Courtney Act. I don’t see a lot of , like, DRAAG, there.”
Joslyn, 25:41, “Milk has put on a beard. What the fuck?”
Bianca, 25:47, “Really queen? I spend all fucking morning shaving mine off! Hello!”
Darienne, 37:24, “It’s just me and Magnolia now. Give me the firing squad, I’m ready.”
Magnolia, 38:24, “I’m gonna show the judges that I’m funny, fabulous, and that I have a great nose!”
Darienne, 38:35, “I am looking those judges dead in their eye and getting that glance right back. This is what you paid for, and I’m giving you extra.”
Bianca, 40:30, “Oh, fuck. The six other bitches.”
Courtney, 40:35, “It’s like two prides of lions meeting each other on the serengeti.”
Adore, 40:42, “This is like the Outsiders. I’m from Azusa, okay? I know how street fights get down.”
Bianca Oh goodness, where to start? This girl is a reading machine, I’m counting all the reads she’s done this episode and she’s making more points from shade than her win! Too funny. Okay, so actual drama. Bianca doesn’t like Gia, but that’s from the preview for next episode (and. She sews professionally, is an insult comic (which is why I’m so damn hesitant to give her all her points for her shade, because seriously, that’s +55 right there for her, and I rounded down!) and won the challenge. I’m going to be rather unfair about Bianca’s scoring because the bitch broke the curve. Okay fuck it, she gets her points for all her reading, I’m going to be fair, +5 for each read. You’re just gonna have to deal, shade is a HUGE part of the drama score.
Courtney Yes, Courtney was on Australian Idol. She’s a small scale celebrity (she and Ben were the first queens I knew about from this season way ahead of the cast list being released) and she’s a singer. She’s amazingly feminine looking and she knows she’s pretty. Joslyn is her fangirl, Magnolia and Darienne don’t think what she does is drag, and she gave us that Bianca read, which didn’t have too much effort into it so I’m unsure if it was just shade or not. She also gave us that really cool discussion about the grey matter that is sexuality and how she sleeps with straight guys in drag and about the 30 seconds after when she worries the guy is going to vomit or punch her. Really cool conversation. So! Her Idol time was mentioned a LOT, maybe enough to catch up with Bianca.
Darienne Pandora Boxx’s drag mother! But, that was not mentioned, which is interesting because this season has a LOT of queens that are related to queens (Courtney performs with Willam and Detox. Ben is BFFs with Jinkx, Dari is Pandora’s drag mother, Laganja is Alyssa Edward’s drag daughter). She talks herself up as the biggest, funniest, prettiest queen of the season, but she relies on fat jokes a bit much. But! She is funny, and she paints for filth. Even though she made it sound like she had NO idea what the hell to do with her box.
Joslyn Oh what a bundle of ditzy sweetness you are! Alyssa Edwards level comedy. She’s an extravagant queen, lots lots lots going on. Since she didn’t throw shade, I’m giving her her adorable points right up front. +10
Magnolia Ah. Bitter Betty. I know she doesn’t care that her publicity is bad right now, so I’ll just clock her quickly for all the shade and complaining. Didn’t like her box, blamed her box, was overly defensive, boring blowup doll like lip sync, Courtney shade. Not cute. Sorry Reynolds, I thought you were the chosen one with a kickass fancy name like that.
Milk Confidence galore. Alrighty, can’t tell I’m team dairy this season? Genderfuck circus realness. Lots to go on. She’s ballsy as hell. Paints fantastically too. Witty. I like her. Everyone is just going to have to deal. Tossed a lot of shade, deflected back a ton.
Trinity Creative, sweet and funny! I love a blunt honest queen and I honestly thought she’d be boring but nooo. +2 for peacemaking and calming Magnolia down in Untucked. +6 for her Kloe fangirl moment. She deserves it! Actually all her reactions were awesome. Good for her!
These include commentary from the scorekeeper ( me, AEmerz), and some scores are subject to viewpoint or bias. though I will try to only judge how a queen is edited to seem when it comes to the drama element of the show.
Also, becaues RPDR has 2 premieres and that week-before app release, I'm sorry to say that Episode 1 is going to stretch over for 3 weeks. This week, as of 2/25/14 the only new material I have to score and comment on is the lip sync between the bottom queens. Spoilers below!
Next week I'll update this for the Group 2 queens (Bianca, Courtney, Darienne, Joslyn, Magnolia, MILK, and Trinity) and everything is going to be doubled because of the 2 premieres still equal one episode. Two main challenge winners, 2 mini challenge winners, 4 lip syncing queens, 2 girls eliminated . Also, I'm not going to count Untucked, the after-runway show, because that's just confessionals and drama and I know now that drama and confessional counting is a lot of work.
Side note, Adore opened/closed confessionals and she even got two confessions in a row. I'm considering this as the editing's way of saying that she's in the show for a long time.
(Oh why did I make this a category...This is going to be totally biased. I'm sorry. But I'm giving everyone a 10 point maximum otherwise it'll just be too unfair for the younger queens who are actively trying to be cute. Each adorable moment gets +2)
|1||Courtney Act||Fierce Fishes|
|2||Adore Delano||Hunty Boo Boo's|
|3||Kelly Mantle||The Shady Librarians|
|4||April Carrión||Reinas De La Moda|
|5||Ben De La Creme||NoRupaulogies|
|7||Bianca Del Rio||Reinas De La Moda|
|8||Milk||The Shady Librarians|
|9||Laganja Estranja||Hunty Boo Boo's|
|10||Gia Gunn||Fierce Fishes|